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The Samuel Pepys of Mortimer?

Submitted by DiaristNumberOne on 4 April 2020

Chosen by committee (or desperation?) to begin logging the daily goings on of regular Mortonians during global death pandemic, the regular people decided not to do it so I was asked instead.

I’m a new recipient of a transplanted organ, I’m immunosuppressed and I’m in my early 40s. Female. Black or blonde hair, depending on how long I’m going to be incarcerated. Full time employed, working from home easily, by the power of the electric interweb, living with my (first) husband and my pussy cats. No kids, never liked them.

I’m classified “highly vulnerable to severe effected of Covid-19” so have been added to the group of people that must shield themselves from society. This means no going out at all for 12 weeks, no social interaction face to face and even inside the home, I have to be very careful and take extreme precautions. Because I’m not a stupid moron, I have been doing exactly this since before BoJo told me to, so whilst this is the end of the official 2nd week of those 12, I shut myself away 3 weeks sooner. No symptoms here! I will survive to reseed the population with superior beings after all. I knew it!

So now you know about me, I will attempt to post daily news (probably weekly, because I’m forgetful) on mundane things so that the historians of tomorrow can write essays for their GCSEs on how we Mortonians utilised toilet paper and suchlike.

Entry 1: Huzzah! I finally got a Tesco delivery slot as they recognised I’m vulnerable. And just like buses, Sainsbury’s offered me one too.