These are desperate times but I never imagined that I would find myself breaking Government guidelines! I think I can get myself off on a technicality, but here's how easy it is to slip into the role of 'rebel' when you are in a lockdown.
It started out so innocently. I set off on a morning dog walk, as usual, and as Lily and I got to the end of our drive I saw our neighbour (whom I shall refer to as C, just in case there are repercussions [this is my confessional not theirs]). Staying a good 5-10m apart we exchanged the usual pleasantries followed by the normal question "how are you coping?" That question, in lockdown, is never quick to answer and a pleasant catch-up conversation started with me in the middle of the road and C on their drive. So far, so good.
Things took a subversive turn when another neighbour, F (for all the same reasons), returned from their dog walk just at the right moment to join in with some of their experiences. We stood, all 5m apart, and had a bit of a catch-up. Eventually, the question about the rules on 'how long you can stay out for' came up and we all seemed to agree that it was an hour. I looked at my watch and realised I'd already been out for 15 minutes so I parted making a joke about enforcers roaming the woods in Hugo Boss uniforms ready to give me a good kicking if I stayed out more than an hour.
In the quiet contemplation of the subsequent walk I realised, with a chill, that the fictional enforcers needn't wait for me to be out an hour, I'd already broken the rules! A three person gathering - guilty as charged! Like conversational sirens, C & F lured me into the underworld of lockdown rule breaking. That's them off the Xmas list.
I spent the rest of the walk back trying to come up with a defence. I could lead on the skilled, almost professional, conversation making of my two accomplices, but that would be subjective. Then I hit on my get-out-of-jail-free-card!
The guidelines are clear, here's a quote:
If you leave your home or gather in public for any reason other than those specified, the police may:
* instruct you to go home, leave an area or disperse
* instruct you to take steps to stop your children breaking these rules if they have already done so
* take you home – or arrest you – if you do not follow their instructions or where they deem it necessaryThe police will act with discretion and common sense in applying these measures and we expect the public to act responsibly, staying at home in order to save lives.
However, if the police believe that you have broken these rules – or if you refuse to follow their instructions – a police officer may issue you with a fixed penalty notice for £60 (reduced to £30 if paid within 14 days). If you have already received a fixed penalty notice, the amount will increase to £120 and double on each further repeat offence.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others
Now, C was on their driveway all through, so technically hadn't 'left' their home. Therefore, the gathering of people who had left their home was just me and F. Phew, the relief!
I guess I won't need to find a leather jacket and packet of Marlboro's after all.
